Many buyers and sellers enjoy using eBay to shop as it has a plethora of vintage clothing available. Some people love using eBay and find it an incredible source of unique and unusual items that cannot be found easily anywhere else.
However eBay is also a source of immense amusement and is fraught with danger for the vintage buyer.
This tongue in cheek guide will help you interpret what the eBay seller is saying when referring to vintage clothing versus what this really means. I hope that you enjoy!
| What the seller says | What this actually means |
| Would benefit from a dry clean | Is filthy and/or stinks to high heaven |
| A couple of small moth nibbles | Riddled with moth holes |
| Excellent vintage condition | Falling apart |
| Zipper is sticky | Zipper is broken or absent |
| 28 waist | 22 waist |
| Genuine 1950s | 1980s |
| Restoration project | In tatters |
| Never worn | Deodorant marks |
| Easy fix | Not repairable |
| Has been taken up a bit | Hacked off with blunt scissors and converted to a mini skirt |
| Reasonable offers accepted | Don't even bother |
| Reasonable offers accepted | Seller is totally unreasonable |
| I post every day | There will be some reason why this item cannot be mailed for the next 3 weeks |
| Securely packed | Posted inside an old freezer bag sealed with three rolls of tape |
| Previously owned by my grandmother | Found at an estate sale |
| Tags still attached | Thrift store tags still attached |
| Needs some TLC | Every seam needs repair |
| Some small spots that should come out in the wash | Extensive old stains that are impossible to remove |
| Comes from a smoke free home | Covered in pet hair |
| Comes from a pet free home | Reeks of cigarette smoke |
| Came from a woman who worked in Hollywood | Don't have any info or name of woman |
| Genuine 50s showgirl | 90s Halloween costume |
| I love Lucy style | Any dress that appears remotely 1930s to 1960s in style |
| Couture | Any dress with a label in it |
| Haute Couture | Any dress with a fancy looking label in it |
| Mad Men style | Any early 1980s dress |
| Selling for what I paid | Plus adding a 200% markup |
| I bought this for myself but it doesn't fit so selling for what I paid | Seller partied until she puked in this dress and now can't stand to look at it |
| Freshly laundered | Shrunk |
| Freshly laundered | Smells strongly of a highly fragranced laundry detergent |
| Using original seller's photos with permission | Absolutely no intention of ever asking the original seller for permission and would still use them even if denied |
| Missing a button | At least 3 buttons are missing |
| Some loose threads | One wrong move and the dress is coming apart like a house of cards |
| No label but is obviously a designer | Not a designer |
| Missing a few rhinestones | There is exactly one intact |
| One of a kind | Sears label |
| Rare | Not rare but saying it is to justify the price |
| Packaged carefully | Seller will put it in the biggest box possible and send it by the most expensive shipping method so you get charged a ridiculous amount |
| Beautiful shade of dark pink | Faded red |
| Some slight overall fade | The black dress is a patchy grey |
| Ombre | Uneven fade |
| Satisfaction guaranteed | You will never hear from this seller again |
| A bit of colour transfer | Riddled with colour bleed |
| Dry cleaned | Seller sprayed it with Febreeze |
| Worn once | Has sweat and food stains everywhere |
| Purchased in the 1950s | Purchased in the 1980s |
| Exquisite Tailoring | Has one seam that is not totally ruined |
| Petite size | Was a normal size until seller washed it and it shrunk |
| Returns accepted | You will have to get PayPal, eBay and the FBI involved before the seller takes this item back |
| This "may" be a child's dress | It's for a doll |
| Cotton blend | Polyester |
| Silk | Polyester |
| Cotton | Polyester |
| Wool Blend | Polyester |
| Pure Cashmere | Polyester |
| Make me an offer! | Seller will decline every offer |
| Send me a message if you have any questions | You will not get any response |
| Check out my other listings! | The seller needs to offload a lot of stuff |
| Shirring elastic is still stretchy | Shirring elastic needs to be completely redone |
| Pinhole sized hole in skirt | Golf ball sized hole in skirt |
| Inky black | Black |
| Custom made | Home made, usually badly |
| Princess coat | Any coat that fastens or ties at the waist |
| Mid century | Anything from 1920s to 2000s |
| Bulk Lot | Every single item has a major problem |
Special thanks to my friend Gina at @millstreetvintage and my friend Joey at @thevintagevaultbyjoseph who shared some of their favourites.
Feel free to share your opinion or add any others in the comments!
Comments (1)
Dawn Steckmesser on January 16, 2021
My Grandma wore this flapper hat in the 1920’s.
ACTUALLY is a 1960’s bucket style hat.
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